Restricted

Hello all! It's been a while eh? Well I'm back, with a more realistic view on ana. I've decided I can't just not eat then binge.. not eat then  binge. I can't do it, it's not working whatsoever. Skinny and I have decided to give restricting a go. Today I only ate 405 calories. As the days go on, we're going to try and eat under 500 this week, and less and less. I personally want to eat less than 405 tomorrow, then less than that the next day, and so on.

Today I ate:
A glass of sunny d- 75 cals
2 candy canes- 220 cals
A piece of toast with a tablespoon of jam-110 cals

I have to admit I really enjoyed the toast. Tomorrow I plan on eating an egg-75 cals, a cup of grapes-64 cals, and sadly my dad is making chicken noodle soup, so a cup of that- around 80. That would put my total around 219... so I probably will have like 2 cups of grapes or something. I need it to be a little higher, so I have somewhere to go. NO MORE CANDY CANES!!!  I'm such a loser when it comes to sweets. ugh.

I wrote my ex bff C a note today, hopefully she finally forgives me. Also I'm talking to A a bit more. I've decided to show him I love him by not liking or dating anyone else.. ever. Ha. Quite a plan right? I just really want him back. He was the one. Skinny is doing really well, her boyfriend is her new thinspo.

Remember P? And how she was ana.. Well I found out today that she still is.. but I'm not going to tell her I am.. Cuz Skinny doesn't want me to.

YAYY CHRISTMAS SEASON!! I love/hate the holidays. I only don't like them because people expect me to eat.
Stay strong and skinny and adorable!!
~Lovely

Mommy yaaaay

It's my mamma's birthday : ))) And it snowed!!!! It was so beautiful, and peaceful, I loved it so much. My mom is probably the most amazing person I've ever met. My parents are getting divorced, and she is so strong and amazing. Sorry I just super love her. ha.

So I didn't eat at all until dinner, I had to eat with my mom, which I'm okay with because it's her birthday, and she deserves to eat with someone, and if that means that I have to hate how I look afterwards, so be it, because she needs it. We had pizza, it was fun, because after we ate we both felt really fat, then we decorated the house for Christmas. I just love little moments like that when you just really love your family.

Things just seem to be falling into place lately, I really love it. It's about time really. *Sigh* I'm just happy.

With this happiness, there comes fear that it will all fade away though. I don't like that part. Like Charlie Brown said "Charlie Brown: I think I’m afraid to be happy.

Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?

Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens."

Let's just hope nothing bad happens. 

You guys are gorgeous. 
~Lovely