Halloween!!

I had an awesome day today :) I'm very big into halloween. I was a ballerina. I didn't look as good today as I did on friday. I looked so skinny on friday.

This week has been really good. On friday I was down 5 pounds from monday. I haven't weighed myself since, because I know I'll be sad about it. Tomorrow is a lunch day though.. small lunch day. This is the last week before states for colorguard. So I need to do well, so I can look good at awards in front of the hundreds of people.

I honestly don't think I'll be able to stop after this week. Skinny isn't sure what she's gunna do yet. I just want to reach my goal. Before I turn 17. I could totally achieve that.

So yesterday I know I looked good, because someone asked me for my number : ))))
But I've decided I like G. He is just so awesome and really hott. Like sexy hott. I really want him to like me haha. And he's super skinny, so thinspo much?? I can't wait to see him tomorrow : )

Well I need my sleep dolls.
Stay strong beautiful and skinny!
~Lovely

So frickin close.

I was doing so well. I actually felt hungry, almost the whole day.
Then my mother made me eat dinner.
I only ate a small portion, but still, eating is eating. Can I seriously not go one single day without eating? fml.
Went to counseling today, got a lot out about my first love A. I still love him dearly and he won't speak to me. It's really quite sad. Actually really really sad..
Maybe I should put an all about me page on here. I think I will. I hope people start following me. kinda makes me feel lonely.
I got my ballerina costume today, I felt pretty in it : )
There's this kid Z who took me to homecoming, and he's super nice, and I think he likes me.. but I'm still in love with A but I know nothing will ever happen between us again. I don't really know what to do. I'm just so lost with love. I need guidance.
Skinny is so.. skinny, hah. It makes me extremely jealous. Yup skinny if you're reading this, you are my thinspiration, congrats : )
I just need sleep, I'm so moody.

We don't need food.
~Lovely

Agony

So the beginning of the day went really well.
Then I came home, and mother made me eat a pb and j and animal crackers.
Then all the rest of my night I was being super moody because I'm on my time of the month. So my mom was like go eat some icecream... and ya know what?? I did! I just ate it. And I don't care. Okay I do care, but I did crunches right after, because I didn't feel like purging.
I've decided to not eat unless someone makes me. Sorry if you find this out over the blog skinny. You don't have to join me, but I just need to fast.
I'm aching. I need my tummy to be invisible. I need my waist to not be 3 inches larger than my best friends. I need thin.
AND I NEED TO BE OFF MY F-ING PERIOD!!!
F THE WORLD RIGHT NOW!!!



sorry. like I said, super moody.
SO tomorrow, if all goes well... 0 calorie intake.

stay thin! you can do better than me

~Lovely

IM BAAAACK: D

SO! I'm so frickin glad to be back.
I felt like a lard ass the whole week we took off.
Now we are on the track to becoming beautiful and skinny.
I can't wait for tomorrow and the hunger it will bring. Finally a day without calories!
Halloween is coming up, skinny and I have decided to be ballerinas, what a task ahead of me. Have you seen ballerina thinspo? It's amazing. I wish I could look like they do, so elegant and long. I need to live up to the standard! I must not indulge!
I think I'll stop myself from eating by doing the mountains of homework I'm assigned everyday. ugh. school. gotta... hate it.
I went to the haunt which is a haunted house, it was ah-mazing! hah I had a great time with skinny, I love her so.
I kinda just wanna fast the whole week away, I need to look good as a ballerina for school and a halloween party I have to attend.
Today I had a small lunch, a pb and j. I wasn't hungry the whole rest of the day. Tomorrow will bring hunger pains, I hope. I need the reminder that what I'm doing does have an effect on my body. I need the pain. I sound weird don't I?
ANYWAYS! Have a great night ladies.
stay thin, we can win
~Lovely

Sorry

I'm taking a week off.
No blog posting (but I can't stop reading) and no ana. For a week.
Next week I'm going to need major encouragement. Major.
I'm sorry my loves.
~Lovely

stay strong and thin. you can win

UGHHH

I'm hating these binging saturdays. HATING. I think our diet plans need to change to maybe binging for like an hour. lmao. I have no idea, but somethings gotta change. I really don't want to talk about my weekend food wise. It was that bad. But I have a really great time, so I guess theres that.

Now that I'm ungrounded my girl skinny and I are going to be hanging out nonstop. We are gunna use eachother as excuses to not eat dinner (oh I ate at skinnys, and oh I ate at lovelys) soooo looking forward to that.

Tomorrow Skinny is coming over and we're watching a documentary on eating disorders that I've seen before, it's called thin. It's really good, and I have a site that shows it for free so yay long thinspo! lol

In good news, my legs are becoming more attractive, more either muscular or less fattier, I can't really tell, hopefully the latter. Well I must finish reading and get some sleep.

Stay thin, strong, and beautiful.
~Lovely

oh my gosh.

so I didn't plan on having a migraine today. ugh.
It was the worst feeling in the world! Right behind my eyes and it wouldn't go away. Eventually the pain got so bad I puked, so I went home... bad idea

While at home my father decided to be super nice and bought me saltines, sprite, and grilled cheese with tomato soup. so that's what I ate today. But nothing else, not even the pumpkin pie he made. Yay being stronger!

Tomorrow I plan on having a party at my house, hopefully I don't eat too much, just enough to sweep away suspicion.
I need sleep like non other though, so goodnight my sweets.

Stay thin, don't give in.
~Lovely

sooo yea

I've decided only to post my food related things when I do really well. So I'm not posting what I ate today.
I have decided that I am totally in love with singing. It is my number 2 favorite thing to do, next to color guard. But I can sing all the time, which isn't true with color guard. Today I had my first professional singing lesson and it was awesome! I loved it. The only thing I don't like about singing is that you have to stick out your stomach to breathe correctly. ugh.
I found a great thinspiration today. SURVIVORRRRR! It's so awesome! The people there are like expected to lose weight and basically starve, it's insane man. The girls on there were so f-ing skinny! I just want to be that skinny so badly. And I will be. Tomorrow's plan is just a granola bar before practice so I don't pass out.
Maybe on Friday I could just eat an apple before the show. I just want to stop eating. Forever. and ever. I wonder how long it would take before I passed out. Hmm, makes me want to try it.
So this kid I like on drumline is like suuuuper skinny, like the skinniest boy I've seen, so that is like major thinspiration, I mean I have to be skinnier than him, I just have to be. But this other guy on drumline likes me, and he looks exactly like sid the sloth. like completely. I just wish hott guys liked me ya know? Like why can't a hott guy like me. I'm hott! I'm skinny! ugh.
Maybe I'll start amping up my wardrobe. I just feel too fat to wear anything tight. Which just brings me back to losing more weight. It's like a vicious cycle.
Well for tonight I'll just watch some youtube videos on ana, love them so much.

STAY THIN! STAY STRONG!
~Lovely

yupyupyup

So I had 2 doughnuts, candy, and chips and cheese today.
Not too bad I think.... Okay it was kinda bad.
But at lunch my friend noticed that I don't eat much... so tomorrow we're eating lunch.
My skinny mocha friend has a blog now too, its one of the blogs I follow, and you should check it out. She's super awesome : )
So the show went great, we got superior ratings. And doing those shows burns a ton of calories. We also did a few ab workouts and cardio type things, so that should help burn off those dreaded sweets.
I need to drink more water I think.
Anyways, stay thin and beautiful!
~Lovely

ohhh goodness

So I did eat today. Ugh. I had a bag of chips (small bag mind you) and a pack of fruit snacks.
But I have practice tonight so I can work it off. My ana buddy (we'll call her skinny mocha) and I are going to run half mile and do an ab workout before practice, I'm super psyched.
Tomorrow's plan is to eat nothing all day then as a treat skinny mocha and I are getting a doughnut. Then on the bus candy.. then an apple.. then breadsticks. But we plan on purging the breadsticks. Skinny has some trouble with purging, so I'm going to show her how to do it. Any good tips out there?
Maybe I can talk skinny into not eating that much. Writing it down really shows me how much it is.
Lately I've just been so depressed. Hopefully this cleanish day will help me. And tomorrow, with the performance, should help too. I just feel so fat. ugh. fml.

anyways, stay lovely!
~Lovely

So exciting!

So I’m starting this blog to help me be more responsible for my eating actions. I don’t want to disappoint my followers, I want to be an example : ) so tomorrow I will not eat. I’m starting a day long fast, even though tomorrow was a lunch day. See I have this friend who is ana with me, and we worked out this whole diet plan and here’s how it goes

Sunday- lunch and dinner

Monday-lunch

Tuesday-clean day (nothing)

Wednesday-dinner day

Thursday-half sandwich day

Friday-granola bar day

Saturday-binge day

But you see we are in colorguard which means we perform a lot, so before performances we make ourselves eat an apple regardless of the day it falls on. We have a show on Tuesday and I am in dyer need of a clean day. So I’m making tomorrow a clean day. She doesn’t know yet. I hope she’s okay with it. She keeps me strong, and I keep her strong. It’s totally awesome. So my lowest weight was 105 my highest was 125. My current weight is 118, and I'm 5'6". Ugh. I long to be out of the teens. I will be skinny. I have to be.

So for now, stay skinny!

love, ~Lovely