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So this weekend was a wreck. FUCKING colorguard people have been talking shit about me behind my back so I decided to let this weekend fly. I regret it totally. I read everyone's blogs so I really want to start the skinny girl diet tomorrow. So I'm going to : D

I'm super excited!! I just want to do this. And I think I'm going to add my own few rules.
1- Whenever possible fast!!!
2- Only negative calorie vegetables and metabolism boosting fruits don't count
3- I must exercise for 30 minutes everyday
I really think I'll be able to do this one. I want to do it for my school dance, and so Tony thinks I look cute : )
I just feel so fat guys : ( I'm going to take before pictures today... That's how fat I feel. fml.
But it can only get better from here. The dog days are over. I love that song. haha I'm rambling.
lOve you aLl
~Lovely

50th post : ))

Happy 50th post!! And I am happy.. for the most part.
I used my nausea as an excuse and got through almost the whole day. M came over after school and she kinda made me eat a little. Only a piece of toast and a granola bar. And we had musical practice right after, so I think I worked some of it off.. And I have hunger pains right now so I think I'm okay. Well I'm good with it.
I'm going to chicago on friday!! I'm so excited!! I think I'll get a lot of exercise in and I will be able to avoid food, hopefully all day. Tomorrow I will be able to fast, if I can find the will. I will find the will. I have to. Done.
Guess what?? A boy has been flirting with me!!! THINSPOOOOOOO! His name is Tony.. Awkwardly close to Anthony, which is A, my first love. But I don't give a crap. He's a senior and he said I'm really nice : )Now he's talking to me about the upcoming dance. Gahh this is cool : )
I'm going to the humane society tomorrow to work with the dogs : ) I'm really excited because it starts at 5 so I can say I ate before, and basically I get to skip dinner. So really it's all up to me if I don't eat anything tomorrow. I really have the opportunity to do it. I just need to find the will to not go to the fridge. I can do it. I have to do it for you guys. I need to be an inspiration.
I need some z's yo.
Keep being beautiful!
~Lovely

Damn pills

I'm doing well again!!
I had a school lunch, and a carrot.
The carrot is because of my damn pills. It's late and I have major nausea from these stupid anti-depressants I'm taking. I didn't take them all weekend by accident, and now I'm paying the price of having the side-effects back. Nausea, that only subsides when I eat. So I had a carrot. And it didn't even help. Fuck. But you know what? I'm just going to deal with the nausea and use it as an excuse not to eat : P take that.
I feel really good about today, I really do. And tomorrow I shouldn't have to eat at all. I have musical practice all day after school tomorrow, from 3-9ish, I just have to avoid M offering to take me to get food during break.
M made me a mix CD, it was super sweet of her : )
God I just feel like puking! I hate being nauseous!!! :'/
Stay skinny, we can do this
~Lovely

I hope...

I think maybe not as many people are posting because they're doing just as bad as me?? Maybe??
: /
Stay strong.. blah blah
~Lovely

New Ideas

So I have new ideas.. obviously : P
I totally failed this weekend, let's not talk about it.
I think I'm gunna do just breakfast, for as long as I can. Kick start my metabolism with grapefruit, then starve.
I went to my greatgrandmas house tonight. She just had her breasts removed, damn breast cancer. She's doing great though. She really wants to get out of the house though, she's very social for being 79. She was talking about her will, and it was really depressing. She's leaving me this gorgeous native american turquoise necklace.
Anyway, my dad started this new gym, and I'm gunna talk to him about having me possible join. I really want to work out, like swim work out, I love swim working out; I'm boss at swimming.
I really want this whole semester to be amazing, I'm gunna do my homework and work out, and get skinny!! Oh, I'm so excited.
You guys should listen to joseph birdsong. His youtube channel is disneykid1. He is an amazing singer.
You know where I get all my thinspo? Tumblr!! It's amazing. Just thought I'd share that with you.. okay I'm rambling.
One more thing! Ha. I went to look at houses with my mom today, it was super fun. All the houses need a lot of work, but they're all so cute!! The only thing is all of them I'd have to share a bathroom with my mom... Not so excited about that.
I hope all of you can get motivated!!
~Lovely

Examsss

Studying, avoiding food, sleeping. That's what my life consists of at the moment.
I miss Skinny. I'm scared.
I just want to be thin. I'm so close.
Stay strong.
~Lovely

Hello again hello

I'm doing so well. Shall we leave it at that? Sure why not.
I've come into the habit of talking to myself, and I like it because it reminds me of scrubs : )
I got my cartilage pierced... and it got infected. ugh. Oh well tho, it's super cute hah.
EXAM WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! You know what that means??? I get to use studying as an excuse to skip dinner!!! YAY MEEEEE!!
Results came in and I am.... A royal staff person/dancer. I am exstatic!!! I will be dancing, with a lot of attention because there are only 4 girls, so I need to get super skinny, I think I'm already the smallest, but I want to be sure. This is for the Cinderella musical btw : )
I'm so tired. I slept like all day though. I don't know, I have a very strange body when it comes to sleep. I feel as though I could sleep forever.

I am in such a weird mood. I want to have a tea party in a blanket fort while we watch harry potter. I want to go swinging and play hopscotch and make believe I'm a princess. I want to put lip stick on and high heels. I want to go in a bubble bath. I want to snuggle on a couch. I want to walk in the forest for hours. I want to drive around until we get totally lost.
We. I keep saying we. I have nobody to make my "I" a "we". I just want A back. I just want to dance with him, I want to waltz. I want to swing dance. I want him to tell me I'm so light, he always used to say that. I want him to kiss me and tell me he still loves me and always has. I want to bake with him. I want to talk about our future like we used to.
Why do such sad things happen all the time?
Why does love never last?

hello loves

So today I didn't eat. Then I had to eat dinner so I purged it then did crunches. I'm just gunna purge everything, all the time.

I got my cartilage pierced! It hurt, but I love it. I got a hoop so it's super bad ass haha.

Musical auditions have been all week, and tomorrow's my last one, acting auditions, super excited. I love the musical. Also I've been teaching to dance to the guard girls, so I get exercise everyday : ). I've been really stressed with everything though. Like super stressed. But it's almost done.

I just am so ready to be skinny.
Stay wonderful and gorgeous
~Lovely

Nothing

Nothing really to say.
Thanks for all the comfort guys, very much appreciated. <3
I'm just gunna fast tomorrow. With coffee after 6.. so yea : )


Also, you should all fall in love with this band : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIIzxeBUqug&feature=BF&list=PLC45DDD1D33D35D5D&index=2
They pretty much rock my world hah.
~Lovely

:/

You know what sucks? Seeing your mom cry, and having to comfort her when all you want to do is cry with her. My parents are getting divorced and the date was finally set. March 9. Ugh.
In better news, I barely ate today and I can already see a difference. yay. I'm just not really enthused right now. But yea I'm doing a fruit fast now. Idk for how long.. but hopefully a while.
I feel so stupid!!! I didn't mean bella, I meant mia.. that probably clears things up a bit eh? Ughhhh embarrassing!!!
Thank you guys for the encouragement. Holidays are over. I'm going to get skinny. This is happening.
Let's get skinny.
~Lovely
ps. I'm doing this colorguard thing where I have to write dance and flag for a song, so I'm getting a workout in 45 minutes a day at least!! yay!!

cool workout

http://www.youtube.com/v/AimPOSXe7n4?
4 minute workout I thought I'd share with you guyssssssss
~Lovely

School can suck it

So.. I should be reading for my class... but I really want to post, hence the title. Plus I only have to read 100 more pages and I'm not even tired.

Okay. So I'm fat. I'll just come right out and say it. I've been eating like.. dare I say.. a normal person? UGH how could I!!!??!?! I totally let myself down. Holidays are such a bitch. But now they're over so I'm going to lose a bunch of weight. I've obviously built up my metabolism, so when I don't eat anything tomorrow, I should feel really hungry, I'm very excited. I've also decided to post everyday : )

OH!! This is really cool. I received a droid for christmas, and on said droid, I downloaded this really awesome app. It's a calorie counter, where I have a food diary, a weekly weight in, and a goal weight. It's super awesome. I'm very excited to use it. Oh it also tracks exercise, so I'll be motivated to actually do it ha.

Well I really do need to do my reading. Sleep well ana angles!

~Lovely